Tuesday, January 6, 2015

GRACIOUSNESS ON THE MAT, or HOW TO SAY THANK YOU AND MEAN IT


spent much of the last several weeks focused on the joy and well-being of others in the form of giving presents. And now perhaps your focus is shifting toward more self-centeredness in the form of the New Year's Resolution. Of course the degree to which you participate in either giving to others or to yourself can fall anywhere along a continuum of possibility, but it is nearly impossible to escape the season without being affected by its tones of generosity. And nothing pairs better with gift-giving -- regardless of the recipient -- than gratitude. So how grateful are you these days?

A traditional way of showing gratitude in Indian culture is through the ritual offering of prasad. In Sanskrit, the roots of the word prasad mean "to be gracious" and "to be satisfied." Prasad is an exchange, not an unrequited giving: a devotee offers prasad (often in the form of food or flowers) to a diety, or a student offers prasad to a guru, and something valuable is offered in return (the consumption of the now consecrated foods, for instance or the instillation of knowledge or insight). For the devotee to openly and genuinely receive what is being offered to them is a gracious gesture, is their own reception of prasad.

Most people naturally feel inclined to say or write a Thank You when receiving a present, although gratitude is known to come in varying degrees of fervor. When somebody hands you a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant you say Thank You and you mean it. When you're gifted an unattractive sweater, on the other hand, maybe the Thanks has lost some of its sincerity despite your best efforts to believe "it's the thought that counts." And when you wake up in the morning with a life to live and a body to live in, you just ooze gratitude and promptly exclaim it, right?? Probably not, unfortunately, because it is much more difficult to offer a Thank You of any kind for those things we don't necessarily acknowledge as gifts or for those things to which we have grown accustomed. But the ancient yogis believed that life itself is a gift deserving of the utmost graciousness. The wisdom they have passed down through ritual and literature continues to teach us that offering prasad is one way to say a heartfelt Thank You for the life you live and the body you live in.

Yoga instructor and author Christina Sell writes candidly about using yoga to cultivate self-awareness and self-acceptance, particularly in regards to one's physical body, in her book "Yoga from the Inside Out." She says:

"Life as it is, in the moment, is a gift from the Divine -- 'the present.' How many times a day do we refuse the gift by complaining, avoiding, or compulsively attempting to bend reality to our whim rather than simply surrendering to the way that things are? We think nothing of exchanging something we have been given for something we perceive as better. (God forbid we actually wear a shirt we didn't like very much as a way to honor the gift giver.) When our body doesn't meet our expectations we criticize it, dress in ways that hide it and try to manipulate our appearance through diets and exercise. We even custom order body parts from plastic surgeons rather than face our feelings of inferiority and insecurity with how we are in the moment.

When we step away from this consumer mentality and enter into spiritual life we practice seeing the present moment as a gift -- perfectly designed for us to learn from. We remember that if we were supposed to be different in this very moment, we would be. If life were supposed to be different right now, it would be. We use our yoga practice to observe ourselves as we are, rather than for how we aren't good enough. When we accept our life as it is and our body as it is and when our yoga practice reflects this type of acceptance, we are making peace. Metaphorically, we are aligning ourselves with the ancient ritual of exchanging prasad.

...When we offer our practice and ourselves to the Divine as prasad, we get back the gift of the present moment. When we fail to accept the present moment, just as it is, we are refusing the gift the Divine has given us. We are refusing to participate in the exchange of prasad. Imagine the Divine Itself giving you a present and you saying, 'Well, thank you but I would really prefer it in a different size and color. Perhaps I could just exchange it -- you won't mind, will you?' When we accept our bodies and our lives in the present moment just as they are, we complete the ritual exchange of presad. Acceptance is the way we open the gift we have been given, use it to its fullest potential and say 'thank you'" (92-94).

Perhaps as a gift to yourself, setting an intention to cultivate self-acceptance and graciousness could be your New Year's Resolution. Maybe you're opposed to the traditional idea of resolutions; that's fine. Call it a theme or a project or a life-lesson instead. Chances are you're a good giver; we inherently care about the joy and well-being of those around us and think very little about giving giving giving (even if that's sometimes more pronounced seasonally). Yoga is a quest of balance, and giving without receiving (from others as well as from yourself!) is a life out of balance. Practice giving yourself unconditional love, patience, support, and encouragement. Then practice actually receiving those things, using them fully, and saying Thank You.


Image: Yoga Sutra I.33 as translated by Chip Hartranft, 2003

Quote: Sell, Christina. Yoga from the Inside Out: Making Peace with your Body Through Yoga. Prescott: Hohm Press, 2003. Print.

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